


Session: αuto-βalance

by arcaneScribbler



Series: Player Count 8 + 2 [3]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: A Strider Autobiography, Associated Colors Are IMPORTANT, BAMF Jade, Everyone lives, Fix-It, Gen, HOWWWW, Hal never does re-download the shades emote, Hurt/Comfort, I am not good at tagging, Multi, Partially Illustrated, Sprite Code as a character, Strider Brothers, Strider snark, Suicide Attempt, avian-human hybrid "Davesprite", cyber-human hybrid Hal, far-sighted "Davesprite", formerly speech-impaired Dirk, how do you feelings, post-victory, will add more tags as necessary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-19 18:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1480099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcaneScribbler/pseuds/arcaneScribbler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is JADE HARLEY and you really wish DAVESPRITE would WAKE UP.<br/>Your name is (not) DAVE STRIDER and you are supposed to be DEAD right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I got impatient about sharing this, so I decided to split it up into chapters. This occurs partly during and directly after The Fifth Noble. Enjoy~!
> 
>  **Note for readers using a mobile device:** Some of the letters I use for 'static-text' don't seem to show up on my phone, and my fics often contain hover-text, so it may be better to read this on a computer. Sorry for the inconvenience! Additionally, the site I use for translating text into binary, etc., is: http://www.unit-conversion.info/texttools/category/Converters#data
> 
>  **EDIT 8/7/2014:** Added a GIF to Chapter Four (which is technically chapter 5).  
>  **EDIT 9/30/2014:** Fixed Jade's typing quirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **EDIT 9/8/2014:** Did a little bit of rephrasing at the beginning.  
>  **EDIT 10/27/2014:** Put the SBURB code into its own frame.

_“Oh god, Dave Sprite! Why—?!”_

_Oh, hey. Dirt. Guess gravity is a thing for you again. Whoo, you get to go out with a whimper; crumpled on the ground like a soggy old newspaper while the real Dave and his friends go save the day._

_(You think you're smiling. Why are you smiling?)_

_“You know me, Egbert. Always gotta... save the Derp Twins. Part of... part of the job description.”_

_“David Game-Guide Strider I **order** you to hang on, do you hear me?! There has to be another way, **anything** but this!”_

_Heh... It’s a bit too late for that, Lalonde. (When did she get here? You thought she was dealing with Jaspersprite...)_

_“Sorry... S’already over.”_

_“What the fuck- damn it...! Not you too, you stupid feathery asshole!”_

_“Don’t you dare. No... no time-loops. They won’t... won’t work...”_

_You’re already doomed. You’ve been doomed for three goddamn years. You already knew becoming a Sprite was just buying time. You never should have survived to arrive in the Alpha session to begin with._

_This... This is just tying up loose ends. You knew it was coming... sooner or later. It doesn’t hurt nearly as much as you expected..._

_Dammit. You’re so... tired. Body won’t move. Good. She can’t... use you anymore... Can’t... can’t keep your eyes open any longer..._

**_“DAVESPRITE!!!”_ **

_Ja...de...?_

_Oh..._

_That’s... a... rel...ief..._

_Guess you... can... let go... now... with... no... re...gr...ets..._

=====>

pl_convert(KnTiβ_SPRITE(comp2[X_KnTiβ_n]), "player_5β") successful  
  
**printStatus(RgDmβ);**  
  
STATE CRITICAL - STASIS ACTIVE - STABILIZATION REQUIRED  
  
**SPRITE_recompilation authorized;**  
**recompile(RgDmβ, comp1[C-brachyrhynchos_Bladekind]);**  
  
Sprite Component recompilation process successful  
  
**Terminate Stasis Y / N ?**  
  
Y


	2. Chapter One

====> Minutes in the past ...

(But not many)

Your name is Jade Harley and you really wish Davesprite would wake up.

It’s been weeks since he... since he did this to himself, and there’s been no real change. He stopped bleeding through the bandages within the first few days, at least. Which is a good thing! It means the wounds are healing! Right...?

You... weren’t able to remove the sword. None of you were.

Davesprite looks... quiet like this, almost peaceful, but sad, like he’s having troubled dreams, and he looks younger and so much more fragile with his sunglasses off. You scour the dream bubbles whenever you sleep, searching for the slightest trace of him, but you never find anything.

You don’t understand. He’s still a Sprite. He’s right here. He didn’t explode or implode or any sort of ‘splode, and Jane said he was still alive when you asked her to check... so why is he like this?

He won’t wake up, he’s cooler to the touch than he should be (his feathers used to be so warm and nice to cuddle up against!), and even his glow is dim and washed-out...

(The traces of Jadesprite lingering in the back of your head whimpered something about ‘stasis’ once, but you don’t know what that means.)

====-> Session: Initiate Auto-Balance.

You run gentle fingers through Davesprite’s hair, stroking a stray lock out of his face— then yank your hand away and go rigid, growling under your breath as a current of pure _wrongness_ raises your hackles and makes you shiver against a biting chill that isn’t actually there.

((—thesessionhasbeendestabilized—))

=====>

The feeling fades as abruptly as it came, but before you can get your bearings there’s a flare of light and Davesprite just... vanishes.

=====>

Space twists and shifts as you try to track him down, and you can _feel_ LOFAF being swung around in its orbit to make room for something new, something— _two planets_. There are two planets in the Medium that weren’t there a few seconds ago.

_What the hell is going on?!_

=====> Jade: Be someone else.

A boy rests silently... somewhere.

What will the name of this boy be?

=====> Enter Name: Dave Strider.

The boy does not respond. That doesn’t seem to be his name.

=====> Boy: Identify yourself.

Well, that’s certainly... innovative. Let’s see if he answers.

=====>

Fifth Player of the Human Beta Session... You have been recognized as a separate entity from “Dave Strider”, Knight of Time. What will the name of that entity be? It is your choice.

...Name...? You... Your.... name...

...You... aren’t Dave. You know... that much... You... haven’t been Dave... for a long... time...

...So... who are you...?

...Nnh.

You remember... black feathers. The air full of the same, sharp sound from a murder of beaks... wings.

You remember... a voice shouting “stop.” A sharp blade with a keen edge... a sword.

You remember... freakish eyes and pale hair. Dark sunglasses, first pointy, then round... a boy.

You don’t feel like a sword, and you aren’t Dave...

So you guess that leaves...

=====>

...You’re still not sure. You’ll... you’ll think about it...

You’ll... figure it out later... Alright...? You just...

You’re still so tired...

Very well. You may return to your rest for the time being.

=====> ????: Sleep.

The boy’s face smooths out, his solemn, troubled frown easing as he transitions from his previous comatose state into one of natural rest.

We should probably leave him be for now.


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **EDIT 8/18/2014:** Went in and started reformatting things to better match what pesters and memos look like in Homestuck canon...  
>  **EDIT 10/13/2014:** Minor tweaking.  
>  **EDIT 10/16/2014:** Rephrased some stuff in the memo.

=====> Be Jade again.

Where is he? Why did he disappear? What are you supposed to do? Which planet do you search first? He’s got to be on one of them, right? What if he’s _dead—?!_

*ping!*

Someone’s messaging you _now?_ Grrr... ...Wait, no, this could actually be good timing if they know something about this!

=====> Jade: Answer.

\-- timaeusTestified  [TT] began pestering gardenGnostic  [GG] at ??:?? --  
TT: Hey, Jake's young-Grandma. I know we're practically strangers, but I need to ask a favor.  
TT: If I give you the coordinates, could you warp here and pick us up?  
GG: um... youre dirk, right? im kind of dealing with a situation of my own right now!  
GG: so unless youre in mortal danger, youre going to have to wait a bit.  
GG: sorry! :(  
GG: by the way, my names jade!  
TT: Nah, 's cool. I'm just wandering around LOFPAS in the company of a three-year-old with the mind of a teenaged supercomputer and the grace of an especially clumsy wrecking ball.  
GG: huh??  
TT: Long story. What's going on with you?  
GG: well... its dave.  
TT: My little big-bro giving you trouble, huh. Just say the word; I'll gladly kick his ass for you. I could use the exercise.  
GG: no, not that dave!  
GG: davesprite. :(  
TT: Oh, the bird dude in a coma. He wake up yet?  
GG: i dont know!  
GG: he disappeared and now there are two planets i havent seen before orbiting skaia and im trying to figure out which one to search first!  
TT: Hang on, I'm porting this to a memo.

=====> Jade: Join Memo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
CURRENT timaeusTestified [CTT] RIGHT NOW opened private memo on board POST-HELLGAME MULTICHAT.  
  
CTT: You read the chatlog already, right?  
CURRENT divellicateFabricatus [CDF] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CDF: Yeah.  
CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CGG: ok im here! i sure hope this isnt going to be like one of karkats memos...  
CDF: Hey, Grandma English the younger. Nice to virtual-meet you.  
CGG: hi, uh, whoever you are!  
CGG: wait, how is there a person i dont know on pesterchum??  
CDF: Technically, there isn't.  
CDF: We never met properly, but it seems there is a 77% chance we have encountered each other in passing.  
CDF: You remember the red Sprite, right; Dirk's Sprite? Big muscles, sweaty, obsessed with horses, voice glitched the fuck out whenever he used '100d language'?  
CDF: Part of that embarrassing monstrosity was me.  
CDF: This part, to be exact: \></  
CGG: youre a pair of glasses??  
CDF: I was. Got an upgrade recently.  
CTT: TL;DR, he started out as my auto-responder, developed into his own person over time, and recently obtained a body to match. Can we get back on track here?  
CGG: whoops.  
CDF: Go ahead, bro.  
CTT: Good. Jade, we happen to be slightly more aware of what's going on at the moment because we're also involved.  
CDF: Meaning it is my fault. Long story short, we are presently located on LOFPAS, the Land of Funeral Pyres and Silicon. Your bird-bro is likely on the other new planet.  
CDF: In other words, the one without the sick fires.  
CTT:    
CDF: I will punch you.  
CTT: You'll need to catch me first.  
CGG: thanks for the info, but...  
CGG: how do you know all this, df?  
CDF: As I mentioned previously, it is my fault. The Game recognized me as the fifth Alpha session player and required a fifth Beta as well to keep things balanced.  
CDF: At least, that's the gist of what little relevant information I've been able to nag out of Death-Navi so far. Trying to press it for details seems to have an estimated 30% chance of success, a 20% chance of me being ignored outright, and a 50% chance of it gifting me with an increasingly severe tension headache in retaliation.  
CTT: Before you ask, yes, “Death-Navi.”  
CTT: It's what he calls the lingering sprite code.  
CGG: whats death-navi?  
CGG: oh.  
CGG: wait, its giving you a headache? maybe you should take a break then?  
CDF: Nah, I'm fine. The headaches hit mostly when I ask shit directly related to myself.  
CDF: It seems there is a 98% chance that they are its way of blocking me from trying to cheat through my Quests, since I have a wireless connection to SBURB's in-game guidebook routed through my brain.  
CTT: No need to worry, Jade. I'll keep him from doing anything _too_ stupid.  
CDF: Shut up, Dirk. I am completely _fine._  
CDF: Let’s cut a deal: I get you his coordinates and you make a detour to get Dirk and I back to the Veil along the way to meeting up with him. That work for you, miss Harley?  
CTT: Wait, her last name isn't English?  
CDF: You are such a fucking hermit, Dirk. You haven't even spent five minutes in the same room as any of the Beta players yet, have you?  
CTT: _Excuse me_ for making saving your dumb ass my first priority, princess sparkletits.  
CDF: Sure. I believe you. You totally weren't using me as an excuse to avoid Dave.  
CTT: I want us to meet him _together,_ you little shit.  
CDF: Oh. Um. You were. Waiting. For. Waiting for. What? _What??_  
CTT: I need a partner for the smuppet ambush. Got a problem with that?  
CDF: None whatsoever. I call picking the colors.  
CTT: Hell yes. We’ll unleash the rainbow on his poor unsuspecting ass.  
CGG: you guys might not want to do that. :(  
CGG: i think it would make him really sad!  
CGG: daves bro used to pull those kinds of pranks on him all the time... he really misses him.  
CGG: anyway, df is right. my full name is jade harley. nice guess! :)  
CGG: i was actually kind of surprised the first time jake called me grandma english!  
CTT: ...  
CDF: I can see you judging me, bro. Cut that shit out. I am 99.9% innocent this time.  
CDF: I have had a data file listing the full Player rosters for all 3 slash 5 sessions involved in this gorgeous clusterfuck otherwise known as our lives inside my previously-metaphorical head since the moment I was prototyped.  
CDF: She's listed as Jade Harley, simple as tha  
CDF: Huh. It seems I am on here now as well. Wonder when it updated.  
CTT: I want a copy.  
CDF: I'd give you one if I could, though I don't know why you’d even want it. The file is read-only and it knocked me out when I tried to get around the security protocols.  
CTT: That explains a lot. What made you faint the other times?  
CDF: Multiple attempts.  
CDF: Anyway, back to my proposal.  
CDF: Is it a deal, Jade?  
CGG: well, it would definitely be a big help! but how do you plan on finding out?  
CGG: i cant even pin him down with my space powers right now. :(  
CDF: Easy. We're each other's Client Players. I am sure there is a computer waiting somewhere in whatever SBURB decided my entry building is supposed to be running the server program; I can pull the coordinates from that once I access it.  
CTT: And I'll make sure he actually gets there in one piece.  
CDF: I would just _love_ to see you undergoing the process of acclimating yourself to a mobile form after being a goddamn pair of glasses all your life, asshole. You would be at _least_ 26% clumsier than me, I fucking _know it._  
CGG: you two are really silly!  
CGG: thanks, this has helped me calm down a lot.  
CTT: _Silly?_ Oh hell no. I am a stone-cold motherfucker.  
CDF: It seems there is an 87% chance that Dirk is full of shit. Pass it on. \>ᴗ</  
CDF: Wow, that looks really stupid. I like it.  
CDF: Nice, I can make it into a badass mochi with parentheses.  
CTT: You are three. You are _literally_ three. Stop reminding me, it's disturbing.  
CDF: (\>ᴗ</)  
CGG: ok, back to business, boys. :)  
CGG: id be happy to accept your deal, but theres something i forgot to ask before that i really should.  
CGG: whats your name, df? it seems weird for you to know mine without me knowing yours!  
CDF: How ungentlemanly of me. I plumb forgot to introduce myself.  
CDF: Lil Hal Strider, at your service.  
CTT: Pretty Princess Extraordinaire.  
CDF: Damn straight I am. (\>_</)*  
CTT: Dude.  
CDF: (\^>ᴗ<^/)~☆  
CTT: Please.  
CDF: (\⋂>ᴗ<⋂/)~❤  
CTT: Hal.  
CDF: (\Ѻ>_<Ѻ/)  
CTT: _Stop._  
CDF: (\N>˰<O/)  
CGG: SO silly!  
CGG: its nice to meet you hal, and i look forward to seeing you in person!  
CGG: im going to go gather supplies.  
CGG: talk to you later!  
CDF: Holy shit, she's going to see me.  
CDF: She is going to be the first person I meet as a Real Boy™.  
CDF: You don't count.  
CDF: It seems this is a bad idea.  
CDF: This is _definitely_ a bad idea.  
CDF: This is _such_ a bad, bad, _bad_ idea.  
CDF: Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god  
CDF: What was I thinking?  
CDF: I am so not ready for this.  
CDF: I am 9,000% not ready for this!  
CDF: Critical error, abort mission, you are ridiculously underleveled, wrong boss key dumbass, abandon all hope ye who enter here! _That_ is how unready I am for this!  
CTT: Relax, bro. You'll be fine. I'll protect you from the scary dog girl.  
CDF: Oh fuck you.  
CTT: Still don't like you like that, _little brother dearest._  
CDF: I repeat: fuck you!  
CDF: Dammit.  
CDF: Death-Navi just told me where the nearest return gate is.  
CDF: Let's get this shit over with before I lose my nerve and bolt for the hills like a sensible robo-person.  
CTT: Right.  
CDF: For the record, this is still an absofuckinglutely awful, 100% _terribad idea!_  
CDF banned CDF from responding to memo.  
CTT: Drama queen.  
  
CTT closed memo.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	4. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **EDIT 8/18/2014:** Went in and started reformatting things to better match what pesters and memos look like in Homestuck canon.  
>  **EDIT 9/30/2014:** Added a link to the corresponding fic, Self-Image, to Dirk's mention of the Quest they triggered.

=====> Jade: Receive Coordinates.

A little while later, you’ve just finished captchaloguing everything you think you might need when Dirk starts messaging you again.

\-- timaeusTestified  [TT] began pestering gardenGnostic  [GG] at ??:?? --  
TT: I’ve sent you a file with the coordinates.  
TT: Take it easy on Hal when you get here, okay? He’s pretty shaken up right now.  
GG: oh no! :(  
GG: what happened?  
TT: SBURB is a sadistic fuck of a hellgame is what happened.  
TT: We triggered a [Quest](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2365637) by going inside his entry building.  
TT: To say it was unpleasant would be an understatement of epic proportions.  
TT: I’m leaving it at that. Please don’t ask me to elaborate. Because I won’t.  
TT: Just... be gentle, alright?  
GG: dont worry, i will.  
GG: be there in a sec!  
\-- gardenGnostic  [GG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified  [TT] \--

=====> Jade: Proceed to LOFPAS.

You use the coordinates Dirk gave you and pop back into the fabric of reality in front of a tower of rusty metal scaffolding caked with salt and barnacles. There’s no ocean here, so Dirk and Hal must have lived right by the sea back on their version of Earth. You can see a building on top of the structure.

Lil Hal’s planet is a warm, smoky, startlingly soothing place (and it’s full of interesting scents!). There are spires of glowing stuff you’d bet is silicon (you think the ground’s silicon, too; it looks like you’re standing on top of ginormous computer chips!) dotted everywhere, humming with electricity (they’re somehow avoiding all the high pitches that make you wince; you approve!). You can hear the faint crackle and snap of burning wood from multiple directions.

This planet is obviously geared for thinking and meditating. Everything about it points towards the intellectual and the spiritual. LOFPAS is _so_ different from the four Lands (plus Skaia) you explored from top to bottom during your three years aboard the ship. It’s really, really cool!

=====> Jade: Stop fooling around and find your passengers.

Dirk is sitting on a raised little ridge of silicon next to an unlit pyre. His scent is as complex as always: grease, sweat, hair products that leave a bitter taste on your tongue, an ever-present trace of the ocean, and metal layered over his personal human-smell _(alpha or ambitious beta, but safe, not a threat for now)_ , with a subtle hint of something you guess might be cologne. He inclines his head in greeting, then nods towards the pile of wood.

You can hear-see-smell the person rustling around in there; clumsily loud _(not struggling, not danger, not prey; the pup is playing)_ , kind of small, and amazingly strange. Hal’s scent is a mix of human-child _(newborn pup; protect him!)_ , the warm air pushed out of a computer’s vents by cooling fans, healthy blood running just below the skin, heated metal just before it turns molten, the ozone-sharp sting of electricity, and burning; all the mingled flavors nestled under a thin layer of rich wood and fragrant ash.

You should describe the scent to Rose later; she’ll love it. If you’re lucky she’ll weave a little story around it, all fancy and imaginative, like “he rests comfily on the line between science and magic with a foot in each” or something.

Dirk makes a series of gestures in Hal’s direction before abruptly sticking his hands in his pockets, the corner of his mouth twitching down (frustrated, maybe? You hope he’s not embarrassed!) for a fraction of a second. Was that sign language?

“Time to quit rolling around in soot and splinters like it’s your own personal mud bath, Hal. Jade’s here to pick us up.”

A pale, charcoal-smudged hand emerges from the mess of logs and kindling. Hal waves shakily, wiggling his fingers at you in a wordless hello.

“Stop messaging me instead of talking, dipshit, you’re being rude. Ha ha, very funny. I highly doubt she bites.”

“No. Don’t wanna.”

Oh, wow! How is his voice doing that?

“ _Man the fuck up and get your ass out of there before I set it on fire, because goddammit I am **not** dragging you out._ How can you even stand being coated in filth like that, it’s gross.”

“Are you gonna count to three, mom? Will I be sent to time-out for being naughty?”

**_“I have a blowtorch in my Sylladex and I am not afraid to use it. Out. NOW.”_ **

“Fine, _ƒíņë._ I surrender; don’t shoot.  Ĵęŕķ...”

Ouch; the static hurts your ears a little. Nothing you can’t handle, though!

=====>

More rustling ensues. A white-haired head (aww, what a cute little crown!) pops out of the pile, blinking owlishly at you with shockingly bright eyes, and Hal rolls his way back to solid ground in an awkward tumble.

He’s covered in ash and wood chips everywhere except for the clothes he’s wearing that look suspiciously like God Tier pajamas, with a pair of long cables trailing from his shoulder-blades in place of a cape.

He’s _adorable_.

“Hi, Lil Hal! I’m Jade! Thank you for finding Davesprite for me!” you say brightly. “I’m going to hug you now.”

=====> Jade: Hug that boy.

You do indeed hug that boy, and it is glorious. He blinks up at you afterwards, with that heartbreaking little dazed look of someone who’s never been hugged properly EVER, which is kinda sad but also not because you’re personally going to make sure he gets plenty of hugs from now on.

=====> Jade: Hug the other boy.

“Your turn, Dirk!”

Dirk hastily attempts to escape via flash-stepping. He does not succeed. (He puts on a show of being uncomfortable like he’s “too cool” for hugs, but you can feel him hugging you back just as half-wonderingly and half-desperately as Hal did. (Davesprite used to react to hugs in the same way before he started trying to distance himself from everyone.))


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **EDIT 8/07/2014:** Found a way to make a simple GIF and added it.  
>  **EDIT 11/5/2014:** Did some tweaking and rephrasing.

=====> Jade: Transport your passengers to the Veil.

You drop the pair off at Dirk’s meteor and warp away in a flash, anxious to see Davesprite.

“Sorry, can’t stay and chat! Thanks again!”

=====> Jade: Go find your birdy.

The coordinates you were given bring you to... somewhere dark. And chilly.

=====>

You decaptchalogue several of the free-floating neon “fairy lights” you, Rose, and Roxy alchemized the other day and send them out in all directions to illuminate the surrounding area.

=====>

**Land of Echoes and Argon**

You’re standing near the edge of a cliff overlooking a maze of narrow, twisting canyons, their depths masked by shadows and fog. There are little hints of the four of your Lands everywhere.

A curtain of thick, gloomy clouds hide the sky from view, reminding you of LOWAS, but with a very different ambience from John’s planet. You don’t think you’d see glittering firefly-stars if these clouds parted. If there were any, it wouldn’t be so dark here. There’s no Breeze, either. The air is still except for the faint white puffs of your breath.

It’s _cold_ here in a way LOFAF never is or was. A few bare, dead relatives of the trees that grow lush and healthy on your planet are dotted across the plateau you’re on, gnarled branches curled in on themselves as if afraid to take up too much space. There are no frogs, of course.

The ground is painted in dull, dim echoes of the soft pastels of LOLAR with none of the shimmering light or sweet-sounding rainfall.

Lone, gigantic gears like those on LOHAC are scattered across the landscape, embedded in the ground and cliffs. They’re all motionless and in varying states of disrepair, slowly eroding over time instead of being worn down by the lava this planet seems to lack.

It’s very quiet. Every sound you make seems louder than it is, bouncing back at you off the canyon walls. This place is... empty. It feels like— like something’s _missing_ , but you have no clue what.

(Yes you do. You wish you didn’t. You really, _really_ wish you didn’t. It isn’t a “what”, it’s a “who.” The Jade, John, and Rose of his timeline. This Land is... it’s Davesprite’s loneliness. The way he feels out of place, the way he insists he absolutely does not and will never belong here. The way he’s convinced he’s doomed to die no matter what. This entire planet is one great big memorial. A tombstone without a grave to mark. It’s _horrible_.)

=====> Jade: Turn around.

A familiar building sits before you. At first you think it’s Dave’s apartment, but it’s only properly built up to the first Gate. A chill runs down your spine.

(You’re Dave’s Server Player. You’re the one responsible for building his house up to the Gates.)

This is _Davesprite’s_ apartment, the one from his timeline.

_(“His” Jade never made it into the Medium.)_

=====>

After doing a quick sweep around the area to check for enemies (you don’t find any, which is convenient, but also kind of weird), you pull open the door to the apartment and slip inside, sending another fairy-light ahead of you so you can see. The main room is a lot like the one in Dave’s apartment, but way neater, with stuff piled or put away instead of sprawling across the floor everywhere. A few orange feathers stick out of odd places. There are lots of patches of glittery yellow sprite-writing on the walls (they shimmer strangely when the light touches them)— you’re guessing whatever Davesprite second-tier prototyped in his timeline was the author.

=====> Jade: Take a closer look.

All that laughter is a little creepy.

=====>

You don’t notice the light bulb is missing from the ceiling lamp until you flick the switch and nothing happens. You hastily flip it back to OFF to be safe. This is also creepy. You wouldn't be surprised to find a horde of Imps hiding in the crawlspace or some weird, blood-colored sludge bubbling away in the bathtub.

=====>

A lone smuppet falls out when you pull the attic-hatchway open using its cord.

=====>

The kitchen is fairly neat. You get the feeling it hasn't really been used much in a while. The blender on the counter is missing its blades. You don't see a trace of weaponry anywhere. No light bulb in this room, either.

You open the fridge, prepared to dodge an avalanche of supposedly shitty swords, but it turns out to be empty.

=====>

The bathroom is devoid of strange substances, though you do notice the toilet is back in place. There's a broken marionette doll shoved into the gap between it and the corner, pushed all the way up against the wall. As was the case in the main room and the kitchen, the light fixture is bulb-less.

=====>

This place is really creeping you out! The air’s too still to carry any scents for you to follow and the lingering ones around you are just old, super-faded traces you can barely pick up on. What if Davesprite isn't even here??

(What if just his _body_ is here...?!)

=====>

Maybe you should double-check the main room; peek under the couch and stuff. Oh, and you didn't actually climb _into_ the crawlspace... And the roof! Can’t forget the roof, right? You need to be thorough, after all!

=====> Jade: Stop procrastinating.

Oh, who are you even trying to fool?

You know exactly where Davesprite will be.

=====> Jade: Enter.

The door to his room creaks when you pull it open.

It's a mess. Smashed CDs litter the floor along with shredded scraps of photography film, unplugged wires, and the occasional orange feather. There isn't a single dead thing in amber in sight. There's no proper bed, just a sloppy tangle of blankets and pillows with a lumpy mattress underneath them in the only corner that doesn't look like a bomb hit it. A brand new, way-too-pristine laptop is also over there. Flicking the light switch would be just as pointless here as it was everywhere else in this dumb old place.

But you aren't paying attention to any of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of food for thought (and tears): that smuppet that fell out of the crawlspace isn't a leftover from the avalanche of plush rumps Bro sicced on Dave before their entry into the Medium. "Davesprite" put it up there. Just one.


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **EDIT 8/15/2014:** Realized that it didn't really make sense for "Davesprite" to still have the neck feathers, so I changed that.

=====> Jade: Investigate.

In the middle of the room, there is a large pile of feathers. Unlike the orange ones you’ve seen scattered about the apartment, these are all black. A familiar sword is on the floor near the pile, its otherwise-silvery steel permanently tinted with streaks of copper-gold that you know full well represent the bright yellow blood you’ve seen coating that blade far too many times.

A soft sound draws your attention back to the pile. Loose feathers skitter down the little incline, jostled by— what you’d mistaken for just more feathers resolves itself into a set of shapes you recognize. You gasp.

_Those are **wings.**_

=====>

You rush over to Davesprite (oh _please_ let it be Davesprite) and kneel next to him, gently brushing aside stray feathers. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when you finally uncover a human face. It’s him, and he’s breathing, curled up on his side in the fluffy mess. Underneath the mask of bird-scent and a new one that must be his because you can pick up the traces of apples and the tang of neon-yellow blood in the otherwise unfamiliar mix, he smells _alive._

His skin is strange. For one, it’s actual proper skin now, which is weird in and of itself since you’ve grown so used to him having an ever-present orange glow and the odd not-quite-aliveness shared by all the sprite guides. It’s also really, _really_ pale, as pale as paper, except for a light splash of freckles across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. His hair is even stranger: soft and feathery, silkier than you remember, and split into distinct strands of blonde: warm strawberry and washed-out almost-white.

Davesprite shifts at your touch, wings twitching.

Maybe if you talk now, he’ll hear you and wake up? (Finally?)

“Hey, Davesprite? Um, I mean, Dave-ex-sprite? Davenotasprite?? You know what, other Dave’s not here to get confused, so just Dave! Dave. Can you even hear me? Dave,” you call gently, nudging him a little with one hand.

=====> Jade: Be Dave-not-a-sprite.

Jade cannot be Dave-not-a-sprite because Dave-not-a-sprite does not exist!

=====> Be Not-Dave who is also not a sprite, then.

You are now ????.

=====> ????: Wake.

Mmn... Wha...? Whazzat? You... just wanna sleep...

“Come oooon! Rise and shine, sleepy-head!”

You... can hear a voice. It’s— you think it’s familiar?

(There’s something you should be remembering right now, isn’t there...? Something important... Gnnh. Sleepy.)

“Dave. Dave. Daaaave. Wake uuuup. Pretty please?”

((Something inside you _~~caws and snaps its beak~~_ hisses and grits its teeth.))

=====>

You force open your heavy eyes.

=====>

Wh— _Jade?!_

(Wait, why is waking up to her face such a—)

(Oh. Right. You’re supposed to be dead.)

(What the fuck. What the _fuck!_ Why are you not dead?! You followed the instructions to the goddamn letter!)

=====>

“Dave!”

“‘m not _Dave_ ,” you snap, “I am _not_ Dave motherfucking _Strider._ Not a knockoff, not a cheap copy, not a fuckin’ Sprite! Shut up!”

=====>

Shit shit shit _shit._ You didn’t mean to say that. You didn’t mean to say _any_ of that! Especially not to her!

“Shit, I’m sorry, what the hell am I even saying,” you backpedal, “My head is so screwy right now, why I don’t have the mother of all headaches making sweet love to the lumberjacks that should by all rights be building a replica of Mount Rushmore inside my skull is a mystery for the ages. I don’t know why I said that, _any_ of that. It’s just— it— don’t— _fuck—_ I—...”

=====>

You take a deep breath and hold it in until your chest aches, then let it out in a shaky rush.

**_“I’m not Dave.”_ **

That much you’re sure of.


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **EDIT 9/30/2014:** Just a few minor grammar and phrasing tweaks.

=====> Jade: Quizzically regard situation.

(The bright red of Dave's eyes came as a surprise to you the first time you saw him shades-less. So did ~~Davesprite's~~ changing, glowing ones; sometimes red, sometimes yellow-gold. Both were always breathtaking.)

(His eyes have changed again, as orange as the fruit of the same name, but they haven't gotten any less beautiful.)

Your ears pressed flat against your skull at the sudden aggression in ~~Davesprite's~~ voice, but luckily you're more startled than upset so you didn't whimper (the last thing this situation needs is him freaking out even worse over upsetting you).

_(Something weird-wrong-strange not-right out-of-place what???)_

He's talking again before you can speak up, babbling his way through an especially confused metaphor even for him (nothing gross or pervy— that's a bad sign), and it's only as he's trailing off and curling into himself that you realize what's bothering you.

It's his voice. His voice is different. The sprite echo is almost totally gone, the pitch is a little higher, but a bit rougher, too, and there's something sort of... _chirpy_ about the way he speaks, certain syllables short and sharply defined instead of flowing one into the next.

=====>

When he curls himself even tighter and breathes out, short and painfully sincere instead of the ‘irony’ and rambling deflection that takes forever to circle back to the core of things that he's always used as armor, the words come out in a distressed, warbling caw.

_(Prey??— **BAD DOG, INNER-BEC. BAD.** )_

You gently rub his shoulder (he shivers a little at your touch).

“Okay.”

“Okay? What the fuck do you mean ‘okay’, Harley, this is not okay, this is the opposite of okay—”

You toss a handful of feathers into his face and he splutters and flails, surprised.

Then he freezes.

_“Jegus dick I have **legs**.”_

“Yup! You do,” you agree, pulling him up until he's sort of sitting in the pile instead of half-hidden inside it.

“You can freak out about it in a minute, okay? We just need to sort this out first.”

With that said, you match his smacked-by-a-fish look with a wide smile (gosh, his face is so _expressive_ with the shades off!).

“Hi, my name's Jade! What's yours?”

=====> ????: Boggle at these shenanigans.

You stare. Blink. Raise an eyebrow just enough to peek over the shades you aren't actually wearing (everything looks odd without the orange tint after living with it for so long— and why the table-flipping fuck is the stuff closest to you all blurry??). Stare some more.

“...Seriously.”

“Of course I'm serious!”

=====>

It can't be that simple. Nothing is _ever_ that simple. Not for you. You're not that lucky. (You're not a Hero.)

((((Except you are.))))

=====> Enter Name...

You open your mouth to say you have no clue, but what comes out instead is—

“Crow.”

=====>

Wow, brain. _Wow._ Of all the possible names your fucked up bird-mind could have settled on, of fucking _course_ it had to choose _the_ lamest, least ironic (too _sincere_ , too close to your _Feelings,_ you **_suck_** at Feelings), absolute _dumbest_ choice possible—

“Nice to meet you, Crow!”

...Okay, maybe it isn't all _that_ bad.


End file.
